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More humour by Warren Buffett in his letters:

The Omaha Golden Spikes will meet the Iowa Cubs on Saturday evening, May 1st, at Rosenblatt Stadium. Your Chairman, whose breaking ball had the crowd buzzing last year, will again take the mould. This year I plan to introduce my “flutterball”. It’s a real source of irritation to me that many view our annual meeting as a financial event rather than the sports classic I consider it to be. Once the world sees my flutterball, that misconception will be erased.

Bridge with Bob Hamman

Warren Buffett joke on his Bridge skills:

Bridge players can look forward to a thrill on Sunday, when Bob Hamman – the best the game has ever seen – will turn up to play with our shareholders in the mall outside of Borsheim. Bob plays without sorting his cards – hey, maybe that’s what’s wrong with my game.

Waiting to Allocate Capital

More humour by Warren Buffett

Charlie and I have the easy jobs at Berkshire: We do very little except allocate capital. And, even then, we are not all that energetic. We have one excuse, though: In allocating capital, activity does not correlate with achievement. Indeed, in the fields of investments and acquisitions, frenetic behavior is often counterproductive. Therefore, Charlie and I mainly just wait for the phone to ring.

Berkshire Contribution to the Treasury

Joke by Warren Buffett

Berkshire truly went all out for the Treasury last year. In connection with the General Re merger, we wrote a $30 million check to the government to pay an SEC fee tied to new shares created by the deal. We understand that this payment set an SEC record. Charlie and I are enormous admirers of what the Commission has accomplished for American investors. We would rather, however, have found another way to show our admiration.

Power Spot For Buffett’s Urn

Joke by Warren Buffett:

Whatever the future holds. I make you one promise. I’ll keep 99% of my networth in Berkshire for as long as I am around. How long will that be? My model is the loyal democrat in Fort Wayne who asked to be buried in Chicago so that he could stay active in the party. To that end, I’ve already selected a “power spot” at the office for my urn.

Jokes by Warren Buffett

For those of you who have been reading the annual letters, you will realise that Warren Buffett likes to include humourous writings into his letter. Some of them are actually quite funny and starting from today, I will be sharing them with you on a consistent basis. Here’s one:

There are really only three kinds of people in the world: those who can count and those who can’t.

Time for a bit of humor

Whenever you read annual reports, chances are that most of the CEO’s message will be done in a serious tone.

Seldom will you find a CEO who jokes in his message. Despite the size of the Berkshire empire, Warren Buffett never fails to inject some humour in his letters. Here’s one from his 1992 report:

Leaving aside splits, the number of shares we held in these companies changed during 1992 in only four cases: We added moderately to our holdings in Guinness and Wells Fargo, we more than doubled our position in Freddie Mac, and we established a new holding in General Dynamics. We like to buy.

Selling, however, is a different story. There, our pace of activity resembles that forced upon a traveler who found himself stuck in tiny Podunk’s only hotel. With no T.V. in his room, he faced an evening of boredom. But his spirits soared when he spied a book on the night table entitled “Things to do in Podunk.” Opening it, he found just a single sentence: “You’re doing it.”

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